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Amusing myself reading my spam comments September 8, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Random musings.
1 comment so far

Most readers who aren’t bloggers probably won’t get the humor in this, but for those of you who maintain a blog… I’m currently quickly scrolling through 70 spam comments and am struck by the absolute inanity of the comments. One thing I’ve noticed is that many of them are one sentence and contain one word completely misspelled such as:

I saerhced a bunch of sites and this was the best.

What a neat atirlce. I had no inkling.

I was seioursly at DefCon 5 until I saw this post.

Woot, I will ceartinly put this to good use!

I think the most important things is that other person must understand what you want to Conway actually, your post is really very funny, thanks for sharing…..

I have no idea what these people are trying to do other than get their links in their contact info published and irritate me (Conway? really?)… I instead choose to let it amuse me and hit the Empty Spam button.

Dear Client: (part 2) August 26, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Business practices.
13 comments

Dear Translator:

Due to some major problems that we can not handle, we are sorry to inform you that payment will be delayed.

We will be working  hard to get it resolved by next week.

I hope this situation will not affect the quality of our business partnership.

We really appreciate your outstanding work, we enjoy working with you and we would like it to keep it this way.

Thank you for your kind understanding and support.

Regards,

Accounting Department
ECOLE GLOBAL SOLUTIONS CORP.
Houston, TX

Dear Client:

Seeing as the payment is 137 days overdue and the amount is only $59.08 I can’t wait to see how long this payment will be delayed. And seeing as you are having difficulty paying a $59.08 invoice, I might I add I am VERY happy that I decided back when the payment was only 60 days overdue never to accept another job from you and then did not accept the 800 word job in July.

Sincerely,
Jill

P.S. Take the $59.08 check and shove it.

Forewarned is forearmed August 23, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Tech tips.
3 comments

Now that I am working with Office 2010 I need to be aware of any potential problems. Did you know that there is a potential compatibility problem between Word 2007 and Word 2010? According to Microsoft, there is a defect in Word 2007 with regard to DOCX files exchanged between users of Word 2010 and Word 2007. Apparently some Word 2007 users have experienced problems in which spaces were “disappearing” when viewing or printing documents sent to them from users of Word 2010. There is apparently a defect in the file / open code of Word 2007 that causes the problem. This could be a problem if you are working in Word 2010 and deliver a DOCX file to your client who uses Word 2007. If your client reports this problem, the first thing you should ask them is if they have the latest patches for Word 2007 and/or Office 2007 Service Pack 2 installed. Of course, the best solution is to ask the client what version he/she uses and save the file in that format. After all, forewarned is forearmed…

MemoQ group buy through ProZ.com August 19, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Tech tips, Tools.
1 comment so far

Happy Friday, everyone! I’ve delivered my translation, which is due at 2 PM, early and am about to head out to hit a local church tag sale and start my weekend. But I wanted to let you know about this opportunity to purchase memoQ 5.0 Pro through a translator group buying program on ProZ! During this group buy promotion, a group of 100 ProZ.com users will have the opportunity to purchase memoQ translator pro and receive a discount of 40% off the list price. Since I’ve been thinking about switching to MemoQ for a while and just started working with a new client who works with MemoQ (among other tools) I’ve just added my name to the list. There are only 39 units left (after my purchase), so act now. The software usually sells for $770/EUR 620, but they are offering it for $462/EUR 372 at the moment. Interested? Check out http://t.co/c0SVvv1. Have a great weekend!

Freelance translators and interpreters are NOT employees August 15, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Business practices, Translation.
24 comments

Sorry for the recent social media silence. After finally getting my new desktop computer up and running (yes, I am a dinosaur who prefers working on a desktop…) I have been bogged down with work. When I haven’t been translating I have been trying to relax and enjoy the summer.

That said, I had to break my silence when I found out recently that Language Line is claiming that translators and interpreters are truly employees attempting to defraud the government. Please pardon my French, but this is total and utter bullshit.

I know that Language Line likes to schedule their employees on shifts to cover their phone interpreting needs (don’t even get me started on the hourly pay, which I hear is BARELY over minimum wage in some cases), so in this case they truly ARE Language Line employees. However, that does not mean that ALL freelance translators and interpreters – or even all of the translators and interpreters who work for Language Line – are employees. If those Language Line employees are only working part-time they are most likely issued W-2s for their services. If not then Language Line has no right to claim that they are employees. Those part-time Language Line employees are also free to work for other agencies and most likely receive 1099-MISC forms for their work. They then report the W-2 income and 1099-MISC income in separate sections of their IRS tax returns. That’s the way it works – whether you are freelancer translating/interpreting full-time while working part-time at a book store, teaching part-time at a school, college or university or even work part-time for a translation agency.

In my case, I regularly work for at least 14 different agencies (not counting agencies that perhaps contact me once or twice a year with a translation request). I am issued 1099-MISCs from all my agencies who pay me $600 or more a year for my services. I submitted seven 1099s in 2009 and ten 1099s in 2010 as part of my tax returns. According to my tax preparer at Liberty Tax, I had “30 [agency clients] in 2009 and about the same in 2010 not reported on 1099s.”

I am a full-time freelance translator. I am free to accept or turn down translation jobs based on my availability and whether the texts are within my fields of specialization. I work when I want and how I want. I use the translation software I want. I track my income and issue reminders when invoices aren’t paid on time. And I pay my own taxes to the federal, state and local governments based on my earned income from all the agencies I have worked with that year both in the United States and abroad (whether or not they have sent me a 1099-MISC). Let me repeat that – I claim ALL of my income earned both domestically and abroad. I have NEVER attempted to defraud the federal government. You simply don’t screw with Uncle Sam.

Correct me if I am wrong, but freelance translators and interpreters who do not have scheduled shifts with a company all fall under this category. We are FREELANCE translators and interpreters, which means we are contractors who are free to work for whomever we want and however we want. This also means we are running our own businesses, whether it be as a sole proprietor, an LLC or an S-Corp. I am frankly offended by Language Line’s claim that because I am a freelance translator I am trying to defraud the government.

Feel free to weigh in with your comments below. The folks who are working hard right now to get translation-friendly legislation passed would appreciate your opinions to use as ammunition.

Articles on the subject:
* http://www.huffingtonpost.com/louis-provenzano/open-letter-to-irs-end-em_b_675776.html
* http://www.huffingtonpost.com/louis-provenzano/open-letter-to-congress-t_b_766612.html
* http://contractinterpreters.com/2011/04/12/interpretertranslators-as-independent-contractors-or-employees/
* http://www.forbes.com/sites/robertwood/2011/08/16/irs-narrows-independent-contractor-relief/

Americans are still impressed when someone can speak another language August 4, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Fun stuff.
17 comments

Moviefone, one of the larger entertainment sites in the U.S., has posted a tribute to American celebrities who can speak a foreign language. Mila Kunis recently told off (in Russian) a Russian reporter who asked Justin Timberlake why he was making movies and not singing. Moviefone then decided to feature a bunch of celebrities, including Johnny Depp and Meryl Streep, who speak another language. Why is this news? Oh yeah, because most Americans can barely speak their own language let alone speak two… <sigh> Anyway, enjoy.

Social media silence July 21, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Random musings.
5 comments

Ever since I came back from my vacation in Florida to a dead computer (all I see is a wavy red checkerboard on the monitor and it won’t boot) I have been taking a break from social media. I’ve been working from my laptop, which although it has all the tools I need isn’t the most comfortable to work on. It also doesn’t have my Twitter add-on activated or a version of MS Money installed on it, which means I haven’t been entering my invoices into MS Money and balancing my finances. Luckily I had copied my latest quarterly spreadsheet and Taxes spreadsheet onto Dropbox before I left. Working from the laptop simply isn’t as convenient or as comfortable. I miss my ergonomic German keyboard and wide-screen monitor!

After trying to get a tech my friend recommended to come out (to no avail), my friend’s husband (who works for the Geek Squad) is coming to my place on Friday with a new computer (with Windows 7 and a parallel XP environment so I don’t have to upgrade all my dictionaries and tools). Luckily business has been somewhat slow, which I am relishing. I have had several small jobs a day and only two jobs of several thousand words each to occupy my time.

In return, my days have been filled with real life bothers like car repairs, taking the car to emissions testing so that I can renew my license plates, lining up repair service for my desk chair, gardening on my front porch, housework, taking the critters to the groomer, and manicures and massages (see – it’s not all bad news!). I promise to be back on Twitter once I have everything back up and running. I have to be honest though – I haven’t missed it all that much!

On a search for the best desk chair July 20, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Tools, Work-related injuries.
14 comments

The Simple Dollar featured an article entitled “How to Buy a Mattress” today and prefaces it by saying “the only two things you shouldn’t skimp on are your mattress and your shoes.” I agree, but would also expand on that to include a good desk chair. As freelancers we sit at our desks for 8-10 hours (sometimes more) a day. A good desk chair makes the difference between a sore back and feeling good at the end of the day (and the hours in between).

I have been preaching the importance of a good desk chair for years. When I lived with my parents right after moving back to the U.S. from Germany I had to sit on their wooden desk chair with a worn-out cushion. My back killed me. I hated sitting in it to work, but I had no other choice. I went out and bought a cheap desk chair from Office Max, and the arm broke off the metal arm joist within a month.

One of my students at Kent State proudly reported that she bought a desk chair with a built-in massage and was thrilled. You don’t have to go that overboard, but you should definitely put some consideration into the kind of desk chair you want.

I have been through just about every incantation of a desk chair out there. I had an exercise ball, which forces proper spine alignment and is constantly making you change positions to balance yourself. It also ensures you don’t have constant shoulder and neck pain since you aren’t hunched over a desk. My exercise ball had knobs/teats on the bottom so it wouldn’t roll away when you walked away. I loved it, but I had to leave it behind when I moved to the U.S. I also bought a kneeling desk chair, which killed my knees. I hated it. A lot of my fellow German translators in Germany swear by a desk chair called The Swopper, which (like the exercise ball) encourages “active sitting” and is “designed to help strengthen your back and abs, help relieve lower back pain, promote mental acuity and assist with good posture.” If I had the room I would get a treadmill desk like Corinne’s. Maybe once I buy a house and am not living in a rental…

Anyway, my chair of choice is the Aeron chair. I bought my Herman Miller Aeron chair (used – thanks Susanne III!) several years ago. The Aeron chair features a “sleek skeleton of metal and mesh. All interlocking parts and ergonomic contours.” (Source) It comes in 3 different sizes for various body types and allows you to adjust the height, the tilt, seat, etc. I love my Aeron chair, but it died about a year and a half ago. Well, the tilt hydraulic died, but the chair itself was still usable. I sadly relegated it to the living room computer and bought another desk chair from the used furniture store downtown (after sitting in just about every chair they had). The seat on my Aeron chair cracked last week. I bit the bullet and contacted customer service, figuring I had a pricey repair ahead of me but knowing it would be cheaper than buying another desk chair. The customer service rep took my info and called me back to report that the repair will be covered by warranty (despite the fact that I bought it used) and the tech will be coming out some time this week to my house to repair it. Woohoo!

Other freelancers prefer standing up when they work and use something like The Stand Up Desk. Standing up while working alleviates back pain. I also think it saves space since you work up and not out (meaning spreading out stuff across the desk). I’m tempted to use this concept in my living room when I redo it soon just to save floor space (since I rarely sit at the living room computer).

So what about you, gentle readers? What desk chair or method do you swear by? Is there something revolutionary out there that I may have missed?

Free webinar on Working with Direct Clients July 13, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Business practices, Translation.
4 comments

On July 20, Chris Durban will be talking about working with direct clients in a webinar organized through Speaking of Translation. Corinne McKay will be interviewing her. The July 20 webinar is 30 minutes long, but you have to sign up. It’s free, and there will be a Q&A session after the interview.
For details and to register, see http://speakingoftranslation.com/upcoming-webinars/direct-clients/

Dear Client: July 5, 2011

Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Random musings.
9 comments

Thank you so much for your e-mail this morning. Seeing as the invoice you so kindly tell me  the accounting departement [sic] has told you will be paid tomorrow is 85 days overdue (when you promised me it would be paid in 30 days – I still have that e-mail), I am sure you can understand why I have absolutely no interest in translating your 811 word translation “from Germany to English.”

On second thought, this e-mail isn’t even worth a reply…