Taking advantage of the down time February 11, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Business practices.3 comments
I’m sure it’s just an anomaly, but things have been quite slow recently for this normally overworked translator. I’ve taken advantage of the down time to prepare my financial statements and hand them over to my accountant (much earlier than I would normally have done!), send out some resumes to potential new clients, finish a test translation for an agency that I first tried to finish back in May ’08, and update my woefully neglected website (I hadn’t updated in the Translation Hints page in almost 5 years – ouch!). I’m sure things will pick up again any day now, so I am enjoying being able to take advantage of the lull. However, like most of you, I can’t help wondering if this trend will continue or whether business will pick up. I have a few promising irons in the fire, but nothing has materialized yet. I just need to keep telling myself that this too shall pass and soon I will be complaining about being overworked.
On a related note, I am really unhappy with the format of my Translation Hints page. It stems from 1995 when HTML was a brand new thing, so if anyone has any suggestions to make it easier to read and nicer to look at, by all means let me know. The only reason it is still in table form is because that is how it started out.
Alltag bei Sprachmittlers: Übersetzer und die lieben Kunden February 9, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Fun stuff, German culture.add a comment
Someone on one of my German-speaking listservs shared this link with us a while ago, and I found it too priceless not to share with you. It’s in German, but I might get around to translating it for the non-German speaking folks – providing the humor translates. It depends on how tomorrow goes.
TGIF: Man vs. computer February 6, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Fun stuff, TGIF.add a comment
There are plenty of videos on Youtube of folks taking out their aggressions on their computers. Here are a couple of my favorites.
The video that started it all:
Angry German Kid (a.k.a. Der echte Gangster, Slikk or Leopold) is a 15-year-old actor from Bergisches Land, Germany. He plays a character, Der echte Gangster, a parody of a wannabe gangster. This video is him overreacting because he wants to play a video game. Remember folks, he’s just acting.
And my personal favorite:
Google Latitude: A monumentally bad idea? February 5, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Tech tips.7 comments
The folks at Google have just announced a new tool called Google Latitude. Maybe it’s just me, but I think this is just a really bad idea. It uses GPS to allow you to track your friends’ locations – and could be used for nefarious purposes by stalkers and crazy exes.
From the Google RSS feed:
Gmail is about keeping you in touch with the people you care about, independent of the large, or sometimes small, distances that might separate you from them. That’s precisely why email, IM, and voice and video chat are so powerful — the “where” is irrelevant.
With Google Latitude, a new feature on Google Maps for mobile and a gadget for iGoogle coming out today, we’re kind of turning that idea on its head, making the “where” matter again. Latitude allows you to see where your friends are located in real time on a map, anywhere in the world.
Latitude is a free tool that works on smartphones and PCs. If they have Latitude installed, users can use GPS and Google Maps to track other friends who are using the service. The service is an opt-in service, so people have to sign up for Google Latitude to be tracked . They can also limited exactly who can track them, and where they can be tracked. I can just see someone not knowing how to turn it off once they try it – or sometime taking their phone and installing it without their knowledge.
So what do you think? Do you think you might have a need for a tool like this? I don’t have any crazed stalkers or exes, but I still won’t be using this. I and most Americans value our privacy, so I honestly don’t think this will work.
Surviving the winter blahs February 4, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Random musings.11 comments
I have been suffering from the mid-winter blahs for a couple weeks now. I live in Cleveland, Ohio, where we had 42 inches of snow, temps in the teens and single digits, and I think maybe one whole hour of sunshine last month. Being alone all day, every day with no one to talk to but my dog is not a recipe for emotional health when the weather traps me inside. The groundhog saw his shadow yesterday, so we are looking at six more weeks of snow, cold, and gray skies. It is a known fact that the lack of sunlight reduces your Vitamin D and all the happy endorphins in our brain chemistry, making you feel melancholy, listless, foggy, and sleepy. It makes us want to move less and eat more and work less and sleep more. The fact that the economy is crumbling and the flood of job offers has turned into a trickle – and my clients are taking forever to pay their 
overdue and outstanding invoices – isn’t helping. It’s enough to make me want to get a “real job” in an office somewhere.
But in the long run I have to remind myself that I love what I do and I would never do well in an office environment. I don’t do well with authority and have absolutely no tolerance for office politics whatsoever.
So in the meantime I need to embrace my malaise and fight against it at the same time. That means cuddling in with a good book and a dog on my lap when the mood strikes me, but I have also registered for the Susan G. Koman Breast Cancer 3-Day from July 31-August 2 this year. I have already started training for it, having gone on an hour and a half guided hike through the Cleveland Metroparks with my dog this past Sunday. I can’t wait for the weather to get better so I can actually go for long walks outside. Treadmills just aren’t the same as hearing the birds chirp and watching the trees bud and bloom.
Being cooped up indoors all the time in the dead of winter, without the fresh air in our lungs, is bad for us, but when we do go outdoors it’s not very fun either. We had minus zero temperatures a few weeks ago, and temperatures are hovering at 15°F right now – not exactly conducive to a long walk outside. So what do you do to combat the mid-winter blahs (I don’t want to hear from any of you who live in warmer climates. I just might fly there and strangle you at this point. 🙂 )
Here are some of my ideas. I would welcome ideas from the rest of you:
1. Add some additional vitamin D to my diet, to make up for what we get from the sun (and go outside whenever the sun shines to tank up on some D).
2. Get out of the house and visit with old friends as often as possible – or even chat online or on the phone with distant friends. Facebook has proven to be a wonderful pick-me-up recently, since I have gotten back in touch with several old and very dear friends.
3. Get out of the house and smile and talk to other people whenever possible. I am now a Meals on Wheels volunteer and delivering meals to grateful shut-ins does wonders for your mood. My regular shift doesn’t start until the 17th though.
4. Fill and run my humidifier, every day and night. The static electricity and dry air are wreaking havoc with how I look, which plays a huge role in how I feel.
5. Go to someplace sunny for a long weekend. Anyone want to go on a last-minute trip to Cancun or Greece?
6. Embrace the winter and go snowshoeing. I have two classes scheduled for the next two weekends.
7. Go cross-country skiing.
8. Go walk on an indoor track.
9. Spend as much time as possible at the Rec Center pool. The heat feels wonderful – and so does the jacuzzi after the workout. And it is really fun being nice and warm and watching the wind and snow whip through the outdoor pool.
10. Eat more citrus fruits and pineapple
11. Put on sunny, cheerful music and dance in my living room. The Gypsy Kings or my summer mix CD might work.
12. Hit Bahama Breeze for one of their frozen cocktails and enjoy the live steel drum music.
13. I found this tip online: Hold your head up. When you’re down, you look down more and your head drops more. The way to start to choose to be happy when you’re feeling dragged down and unhappy is to stand up straighter.
Being happy in the dead of winter is a conscious choice. I choose to be happy and will be consciously pursuing that goal until spring hits. It’s a struggle every day, but it is worth it.
TGIF: A trip down memory lane January 30, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Fun stuff, TGIF.2 comments
Here are two ads from Compaq Computer Corporation featuring John Cleese from the mid to late 1980s. I can’t get over Compaq’s idea of a portable computer. Ah, that brings back memories. Remember how we used to have to boot from a floppy? What? You’ve never heard of a floppy? Oh you kids these days… I think my dad still has some if you want one. Lord knows he can’t use them with his new computer, which doesn’t even have a diskette drive :-). Enjoy!
Best. Complaint. Letter. Ever. January 27, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Fun stuff, Random musings.3 comments
Since we are jet setters (I was just pricing a flight to Paris for tomorrow for a funeral but decided it simply didn’t make sense to try to organize a trip that last minute) I thought you all might appreciate this complaint letter to Richard Branson (the CEO of Virgin Airlines and Virgin Records), which was written by a man who flew from Mumbai to London. Trust me. It is totally worth jumping to Crazy Days and Nights to read it.
On another note, when did Bombay become Mumbai and how did I miss the memo?
Deadline is approaching for issuing and filing 1099s January 26, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Business practices.2 comments
January 31st is coming quickly (ok, this year the deadline is February 2nd, but let’s not split hairs). You might have noticed that you are receiving 1099s from your agency clients. I like to compare my total yearly income with theirs – just to be sure. I have caught errors twice now, so it bears repeating. Obviously this only applies to those persons who have their corporate domicile in the United States or file taxes here.
While January may seem a bit early to begin thinking about taxes, 1099-MISC filing deadlines are looming for businesses. This includes sole proprietors and S-Corps, which most translators are. Generally speaking, IRS 1099-MISC is the form used to report miscellaneous income that you paid to anyone in the course of your trade or business. You must issue 1099-MISC forms to any person that you have paid at least $600 in rent, services or other income payments. This includes independent contractors who have subcontracted work to – be it proofreading or translation work. We also generally only have to file a couple 1099s a year, which is a lot of work for just two or three forms.
The IRS website has tons of useful information, but unfortunately you can’t download forms that you can actually file. You can order forms from the IRS by calling 1-800-tax-form or ordering them off of the IRS website (again – do not download). The IRS suggests it typically takes at least two weeks for the forms to be delivered, but keep in mind that it may take longer. If you need the forms sooner, you usually can find them at libraries and post offices.
Once you have received the forms from the IRS or library or post office, you should fill them out (The 1099-MISC form is a multi-layered carbon form, so you should make sure the information you provide appears clearly on all of the copies.) and then mail all the copies to the appropriate recipients. You must provide Copy B to the person that you are reporting to the IRS (i.e., your independent contractor) by January 31st. Copy A of the 1099-MISC form is intended for the IRS. You are required to file it by February 28th if you are sending the form by mail. If you prefer to file electronically, you have until March 31st to file the form. Since the IRS loves its red tape, it requires you to file an additional form if you are filing Copy A of the 1099-MISC by mail. In this case, you must file an “Annual Summary and Transmittal of U.S. Information Returns” form. This summary is better known as Form 1096.
If this sounds like a lot of work to you, you are right. It is. My method of choice is visiting Filetaxes.com to issue my 1099-MISCs. It only costs $3.79 a form. You must initially set up a user name and password and can easily fill out 1099 and W-2 forms online. Once you have set up your account, your data is stored there indefinitely and can be accessed again next year. It takes less than a minute to fill out the form once you have the contractor’s social security number and address. Filetaxes.com does all the physical work of printing, filing, and mailing out the returns. I don’t have to get into my car to drive to the library or post office and have instant gratification (if you can call it that). This allows me to get back to business without having to worry about whether I messed up the form. I just filed my 1099s, and it took me three minutes – two of which were spent printing out the PDF copies for my records.
There are plenty of other similar services out there, such as www.ts1009.com. I’m curious to hear which service(s) you prefer using. If there is something better out there I’m all ears.
The the impotence of proofreading by Taylor Mali January 26, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Fun stuff.1 comment so far
This fun little poem was brought to my attention on one of my listservs. You can learn more about Taylor Mali and check out his work at www.taylormali.com.
The the impotence of proofreading
By Taylor Mali
http://www.taylormali.com
Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word’s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.
This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that’s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn’t be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).
So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.
But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can’t can’t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won’t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You’re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.
Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I’m not joking, I’m totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.
So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.
TGIF: Grammar bullies January 23, 2009
Posted by Jill (@bonnjill) in Fun stuff, TGIF.2 comments
One of my pet peeves is people putting an apostrophe to pluralize something like CD’s or 1980’s <shudder>, but I had to chuckle at his comments about Lynne Truss, the author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves. I happen to like her book, and I imagine you do as well. But then again I also love The Deluxe Transitive Vampire and The New Well-Tempered Sentence by Karen Elizabeth Gordon. As translators we can’t help but become Grammar Bullies. I hope you enjoy this – and hope you can understand what the dudes in the video clip are saying, because I was totally at a loss. It’s still a cute little clip.
Musings from an overworked translator 